I have been in a season of entrepreneurship for four years now. And from what I can see there have been many highs and lows in my journey. I have had some highs where I was doing financially well and able to live life on my terms. I have had many more lows of having nothing and facing the daunting cycle of survival mode. In these moments of low, I realize this is where my faith usually gets tested the most.
In my low moments, I am scrambling trying to figure out where my next meal would come from, how I am going to pay my bills, and whether will I have enough for rent. Being the self-motivated individual that I am, I am always in Go-mode looking for ways to make a quick dollar if need be. I guess I get that work ethic from my parents. My dad taught me how to use my talents to become enterprising and build my business acumen. My mother taught me how to be diligent and self-sufficient. These lessons were the pillars that became the foundation of my work ethic. So it would be no surprise how my faith challenged the very lessons and skills that I learned growing up.
As I went into survival mode, I would find myself in spaces that I did not particularly like just to pay the bills. I have done it all from ride-sharing, food delivery, e-commerce, I mean you name it I have probably done it. All of this while trying to formulate what my business would be. One thing I can say is that all these experiences helped me to become a better entrepreneur. Practicing as a serial entrepreneur helped me to hone my craft and be able to better serve my clients.
As I look back over the years at the amount of lows I had, I realize that they were all a part of my story and God's plan for my life. The first time I hit rock bottom, I remember asking friends and family for support in donations to help me financially. Because I am very independent, it was so hard for me to reach out for support and help. Many didn't even know I was at my wit's end and contemplating ending it all. I couldn't fathom the pain and embarrassment of falling off and appearing as a failure. It was the most humbling experience and made me feel so defeated.
I'll never forget I was sitting in my virtual Bible study group just sharing how I am trying to keep the faith and believing God would change my situation. This was the most vulnerable I had ever shared with them. I never alluded to what I was going through because of pride and fear. But God had me speak out that day, and would you know that my Bible study group sent donations to help me pay my rent, and bills, and have money for food? I was so in awe of what God did there but it taught me that having even just a little mustard seed size faith, he could move mountains.
As I began to grow in my faith in God, I would always hear about having faith the size of the mustard seed. Many pastors would preach this message and throughout the year, I would try to apply what I learned to my faith. I would read the scriptures and find some understanding. It is probably one of the most preached topics in Christianity. But it wasn't until today in my quiet time, that I understood the significance of this story.
The story occurs in Matthew 17. I always like to read the entire chapter of the highlighted scripture for more context on the scripture. Before the mustard seed reference, you will find the transfiguration of Jesus happened. Jesus took some of his disciples up to a high mountain. He then transfigured before them where his face shined like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light. Then Moses and Elijah appeared before the disciples talking with Jesus. A bright cloud covered them and a voice from the cloud said " This is my Son, who I love; with him, I am well pleased. Listen to him!" When the disciples heard this they fell facedown to the ground afraid. Jesus came and touched them saying "Get up," "Don't be afraid". When the disciples looked up they didn't see anyone else but Jesus. As they came down the mountain, Jesus instructed them not to tell anyone what they had seen, "until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead".
As they came to a crowd, a man came to Jesus and knelt before him. The man asked Jesus to have mercy on his son. His son had seizures and would fall into the fire or the water. The man said he brought his son to the disciples but they could not heal him. Jesus called them out for being an unbelieving and perverse generation. Jesus replied questioning how long he would have to put up with them and said to bring the boy to him. Jesus rebuked the demon and it came out of the boy. The boy was healed at that moment!
The disciples came to Jesus privately to ask why they couldn't drive the demon out of the boy. The scripture says Jesus replied “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20 NIV
“Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20 NIV
Wow! I mean I can imagine how annoying that could have been for Jesus. I mean you are walking with these disciples who have seen you perform miracle after miracle and they still don't believe in you or worse don't believe in God's power. It probably felt like his ministry was for nothing since they had witnessed his miracles and still had unbelief. Talk about a waste of his time! But thankfully Jesus was so patient and gracious because I surely wouldn't have had his temperance LOL.
But today for the first time, I finally understood what Jesus was implying. We often focus on the scripture about the mustard seed faith, but today I want to highlight the message about the disciples who had so little faith and their unbelief. There are many times I can say I follow Jesus and want to trust and believe in his teachings. But when hard times come or doubt comes to creep in, I lose that very faith I believe in. How many of us are thrown to the left and right when trials come?
My unbelief hinders my ability to even have any faith sometimes. It comes from fear and lack of control. When I feel out of control, I find myself going into survival mode. The reason the disciples could not heal the boy wasn't because they weren't skilled in doing so, it was because of their unbelief. They didn't believe they could do miracles without Jesus. Their unbelief even in the presence of Jesus, was a sign of their little faith.
But here's the thing that is so grand about this story. Jesus explains that even if you have faith the size of a mustard seed you would be able to move mountains. Do you know the size of a mustard seed? A mustard seed is very small. So having just enough faith is enough to move mountains! Wow! Talk about the power of your faith!
In my moments of unbelief, I have to stand firm in my faith. Standing firm in my faith is knowing that God is on my side. I have to know that having faith will help me to see the miracles happening all around me. I have to know that my faith guides me when there is so much uncertainty in the world.
I have seen how having small faith, has helped me overcome some harsh circumstances. When I was laid off from work I had no idea about my next steps. I did not know that it was probably going to be my hardest season because of all the obstacles presented. But I heard God's gentle voice in my ear saying that everything was going to be alright and that he had plans for me. That mustard seed size faith allowed me to hold on tight to God's word and his promises. I now know that all things happen for a reason and God will get the glory out of this situation. It also encourages me to know that God sees me and is working things out behind the scenes. I feel so blessed to know that I am loved by God in this way. So I may not know what tomorrow may bring but I do know that by holding on to my mustard seed faith God will move mountains for me. And that's enough for me to keep going!
As always, I want to encourage you while you are trying to hold on to your mustard seed faith. Here are some lessons that I am learning that I hope will encourage you!
Stand Out and Set Yourself Apart
God reminded me that we are his chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession 1 Peter 2:9 NIV. Which means He calls us to stand out and be set apart. He encouraged me by reminding me that he knew all of the things he put inside of me. God has blessed you with so many gifts and talents that he plans to use in this world. You are here on purpose as his most special possession. So don't ever forget this when you are growing weary in your faith.
Trust God's Perfect Timing
God is such an On Time God! I believe he is working things out behind the scenes and sometimes we just really have to wait on him. I have seen so many testimonies of God showing up right on time! God gave me peace by reminding me that despite what I may see happening in my face, Faith is the confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1 NIV). God is all-knowing and omnipresent, which means God knows all of your wants and needs. God knows when the rent is due, when the car payment must be paid, and when your children need new shoes. He sees all things and knows all things. So will you have mustard seed faith to trust that he will come through for you?
Turning Trials into Preparation
God has plans for you. Everything you are going through is not because he doesn't love you. I want to be sensitive to everyone's circumstances because I know sometimes your trials are not because of anything you did. I will just encourage you to know that God still has plans for you in spite of your trials. He is working on your behalf because he doesn't withhold good things from his children. In this trial, look at it as an opportunity to grow your faith and prepare for the blessings that God has for you!
No matter how daunting the obstacles may seem, I believe that even the smallest seed of faith can move mountains. When we open our hearts to the possibilities that lie within, we unlock the resilience to weather any storm. This is the message I aim to share - one of hope, courage, and unwavering belief.
In my blogs, I strive to create a safe space for us to connect, grow, and release the bondage of fear, guilt, and shame. It is my greatest joy to witness your evolution and to support you as you courageously step into the fullness of who you are meant to be. You have the right to evolve, and I am honored to be a guide on that sacred journey.
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